Bad Haircut by Tom Perrotta

Author:Tom Perrotta [Perrotta, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harper Perennial
Published: 2009-02-27T06:00:00+00:00

When I got home, Bill Floyd was in the living room with my parents. The TV was going, but no one was watching it. Bill Floyd had the recliner swiveled to face my mother, who was sitting in an easy chair that had been moved almost into the hallway to make room for the tree. My father was out cold on the couch, snoring like a cartoon character.

My mother smiled at me. “Guess what? Mr. Floyd baked us some Christmas cookies.” She had a special tone of voice that she only used when we had company. It made the simplest fact sound like cause for celebration.

“That's right,” he said. “They're in the kitchen.”

I mumbled a few syllables and hurried into the kitchen, relieved to find such an easy way out of small talk. I hadn't expected to see Bill Floyd, and all I could think of was Ed's crack about his toupee looking like a squirrel.

The cookies were green and shaped more or less like wreaths. Each one was studded with a single bright red candy. Bill Floyd appeared in the doorway and asked how I liked them.

“Terrific,” I said. “Still nice and chewy.”

“My mother's recipe,” he told me. “It's not Christmas without them.”

He said good night, and I heard the front door close. My mother came into the kitchen with three empty glasses.

“Whew,” she said. “I thought he'd never leave. Your father fell asleep an hour ago. I was trying to watch the Andy Williams special, but he talked so much I hardly caught a second of it.”

I could see she was annoyed. My mother had a big crush on Andy Williams and often referred to him as her “boyfriend.” I put another cookie in my mouth and spoke through the crumbs. “So what did he talk about?”

She picked up a sponge and started scrubbing at a spot on the Formica countertop.

“He talked about his mother,” she said. “He misses her.”

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